


at the end of it all, you're still here with me

by sunflowersailor



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst with a Happy Ending, Confessions, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Mild Gore, Sylvain Jose Gautier's Father's Bad Parenting, i love that this tag exists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:04:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27310123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowersailor/pseuds/sunflowersailor
Summary: In a world that's been thrown into Hell, Sylvain and Felix find themselves facing a difficult decision.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius & Sylvain Jose Gautier, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Kudos: 38





	at the end of it all, you're still here with me

“You need to leave me behind.”

The sky is dipped in sunset, the ground covered in vile, repulsive crimson, a swarm of decaying figures swaying mindlessly back and forth to a rhythm only they know. 

It’s not a scene that’s new to anybody who hasn’t been living under a rock for the past six months, but it’s still just as unpleasant as it was the first week after the emergency broadcast system had transmitted the news that would throw the world into disarray.

It had started in Remire. A quaint, historic little town that was once known for its unparalleled bakeries now held another title: zombie outbreak epicenter.

At first, Felix thought it to be a joke—some idiot with too much time on their hands must have slithered their way into the airwaves and put the announcement on for their own sick amusement, to watch the public squirm. Zombies were the things that existed to scare immature teens, the kind that shit themselves when they try to summon the ghost of Loog or whatever other stupidly named, made up spirit was popular to try and summon for internet clout nowadays.

The joke became less funny when Dimitri had a large chunk of his face ripped off following the breaking and entering of one of the disgusting creatures, it became humorless when Felix received the call that his brother had been torn to shreds protecting their father, and it became downright twisted when he had to say his final goodbye to the same man his brother died protecting—thousands of miles away, only a voice over crackled speakers to capture his final moments.

A lot of people don’t realize how death can change a person. They might say they do, but the realization really doesn’t register until they’re staring for hours at a picture of a person (or  _ two _ people) who they can no longer hold a conversation with. 

A lot of people don’t realize what happens to you when your entire family bloodline is wiped clean within the span of two weeks, leaving you to reconcile what little pieces remain of them. A lot of people don’t realize the walls you build around yourself aren’t to keep them out, but rather to keep in the ugly, wretched thoughts that plague your every waking hour. 

Sylvain is familiar with the feeling, though.

Sylvain understands the agony of having no family to call your own—he’s understood it long before the epidemic even began. If ever there was a person who Felix could lean on to steady himself when the world was falling to pieces around them, if ever there was a presence that could help keep the storm at bay—it was Sylvain.

So when Sylvain—the one person who fits right in his life like a missing puzzle piece—insists that it’s okay for Felix to leave him behind, that it’s okay to just  _ let him die like everyone else in his life _ , of course he gets angry. Enraged, even.

It’s  _ not _ okay for Sylvain to leave him, and quite frankly it’s an insult to think he would just accept something like that so easily.

“Fuck you,” he spits as he brings an axe down on one of the snarling creatures, then quickly turns to take care of another one. “Never say stupid shit like that. I’m not leaving you.”

They’re surrounded. Gargled moans and inhuman screeches assault their ears in every direction, and Felix would be lying if he said his arms weren’t beginning to tire with effort it’s taken to swing the axe over and over. It’s two against twenty—two humans running on little more than fumes and pure adrenaline against twenty ravenous creatures from hell.

The odds are slim. Paper thin, even. Felix suspects Sylvain knows this—he’s always been way better at math than anyone in their childhood quartet, even if he had dedicated more time to building his social standing than exercising his brain. It’s annoying as hell, and yet Felix wouldn’t have it any other way. The Sylvain that’s smart and cares for his friends with everything he is—that’s the Sylvain that feels authentic. That’s the Sylvain that feels like  _ home _ .

There’s an odd ache that takes hold of him as he slices clean through the gray brain matter of the next creature, a couple droplets of sticky scarlet landing on his cheek. 

It’s not the time to dwell on any lingering feelings—hell, it’s literally the  _ opposite _ time for reflecting on what ifs and maybes—but that doesn’t stop his traitorous brain from indulging, just for a second.

“Felix, look at the situation here.” It’s his warning tone, the kind only used when things are teetering between the lines of discussion and full blown argument. “There’s an entire crowd of them, and only two of us. I’m missing an arm and you’re agile enough to get out of here if I serve as a distra-”

“Shut the fuck  _ up _ .” An eyeball is ejected as Felix brings the blunt end of the axe downward, a couple of teeth are knocked clean as Sylvain’s crowbar makes contact with a sickening crunch. “Quit talking and keep fighting.”

“Felix, listen to me,” Panic amongst frustration on a backdrop of exhaustion colors his voice. “I know it’s scary but if you don’t leave right now-”

“What part-” Another swing, another symphony of groans as two of them hit the floor. “-of shut the fuck up don’t you understand?”

“Now isn’t the time-” Sylvain stumbles backward, then catches his balance and decapitates a particularly frail looking one, “-to be stubborn about this! You’ll be fine without me!”

A fire is ignited in Felix.

“You’re…  _ ngh _ , you’re an idiot if you think that, Sylvain,” is what he grits out over the unholy screeching of the undead.

They’ve had intense arguments like this only a handful of times before, probably even less than that. The last time it had escalated to this point was their first year of college when Sylvain had gotten the completely stupid idea to drop out and run away.

It’s not as if Felix hadn’t understood why—Sylvain was stuck in a major his father had chosen for him, a  _ future _ he’d chosen for him. His life was a melody conducted by a dictator—rigid, with no room for compromise. He was to become a lawyer, marry a beautiful woman, and have at least one child. A picture perfect boy framed by a picture perfect life.

But nothing quite shatters the illusion like finding out that your son has spent more time drawing and photographing than he’s spent studying the law. Nothing quite unravels the path laid out so perfectly like getting into a screaming match that culminates into him revealing that the woman he’s been seeing the entire time actually has a beard and doesn’t go by  _ she  _ at all.

Sylvain wasn’t what his father wanted. He wasn’t the boy with the white picket fence and the dead end office job, and so he was cast aside. Just like that, he was no longer a Gautier—just Sylvain.

But  _ just _ Sylvain was good enough for Felix. Still is, and always has been. 

And he remembers how it felt when Sylvain told him he didn’t feel good being just himself, that he needed to get out of their suffocating small town so he could stop feeling like an insect trapped in a cocoon and get to the part where he could grow wings and escape to the life he wanted.

A life that wouldn’t include Felix.

And he supposes it’s one of the better arguments they’ve had, because it ended in Sylvain staying. 

And he assumed he’d made it very clear after that conversation that Sylvain leaving was completely unacceptable. But apparently it wasn’t enough, because here they are, back in the same situation—some sort of fucked up deja vu had to be taking place.

But Felix is a different man than the one who had that conversation four years ago. He’s a man who now understands his heart, understands how it beats different for Sylvain compared to his other friends.

This argument is causing his now softened heart to lose control. Sooner or later, it’s bound to come loose, and… 

And maybe it would be okay if he let it. What else does he have to lose at this point when his life is already on the line?

“ _ I’m _ the idiot here? It’s suicide to stay here and I  _ know _ you know it!  _ Please _ just leave already, you-  _ shit _ , you can’t die-”

“ _ Neither _ of us will die if you shut up and fight!”

Sylvain swings at another creature, a miss. Felix steps in and kicks it to its knees, then stomps its head into the pavement. The ground is beginning to look more red than black.

“Felix! For fuck’s sake stop being stupid about this and just go!”

Three more swings, three more creatures downed.

“I’m not leaving!”

Two more swings, two more hits. It’s getting down to the wire now.

“Why? Why are you so insistent on staying with me when you know you’ll die too?”

One last burst of energy, one last swing, one last hit.

“Because I love you, you fucking idiot!”

… 

It’s silent.

It hardly occurs to Felix that the silence is a result of the fact that they’ve somehow, by a miracle delivered directly by the Goddess herself, managed to wipe out the entire cluster and not because of the earth shattering proclamation he’s just yelled out for the entire continent to hear.

Hardly a second later, everything restarts. Felix remembers to breathe, and exhales out the last of his adrenaline while Sylvain drops the crowbar in the pile of rotting flesh. His wide, bewildered eyes don’t leave Felix the entire time.

“You… Felix… ”

“Don’t make me say it again.” He’s never wanted a nap so badly in his life.

“I know, I know, it’s just…” Sylvain swivels his head around and surveys the area. The sky is beginning to bleed inky night into the sunset, and there’s no other sounds besides the gentle wind tickling the tall grass. “Holy shit, we actually did it.”

“Yeah, like I said we would.”

“And,” Sylvain takes two strides forward, reaches his good arm out and fits Felix into the crook of his neck, like he’s always belonged there. He smells rancid; a mix of sweat and other smells that would make even the most seasoned morticians have to excuse themselves. But most importantly, he smells  _ alive _ . “And you love me.”

“Yes, we’ve established this.”

“How long?”

Felix breathes out a sigh. “Can we not do this right now? I’m exhausted.”

It’s definitely because he’s exhausted and not absolutely mortified at the prospect of Sylvain finding out that it’s been about four years since he wormed his way into his heart. Definitely exhaustion.

“Right, right, sorry, Fe. I’m just… I’m just happy.”

At the very least, there’s a happy ending to this argument too. Even if it had to happen in the middle of fighting for their lives, it was worth it.

And although Felix would love nothing more but to freeze time and enjoy the fading sunlight—Sylvain’s steady heartbeat accompanying the calm atmosphere as the sun becomes a sliver on the horizon—he knows herds move fast, which means they need to keep moving too.

“C’mon Sylvain, we need to go. There could be more at any moment.”

A beat of silence, then, “Yeah, I know.” Another beat of silence, “I’m glad you were right about getting out of there, Felix. And I promise I’m not going to suggest either of us leaving the other behind from now on. We’ll stick together ‘til we die together.”

Felix likes the sound of that. Dying a death next to the one you love most doesn’t seem like a bad way to go, really.

“We’ll do that, then.”

**Author's Note:**

> Me inserting their promise into every fucking thing i can: its free serotonin
> 
> ALSO if youre wondering how syl lost his arm......... i will leave that up to you to decide (aka i was gonna write something separate for it but im so drained of energy all the time now im not sure if thats possible LOL)
> 
> Twitter: peachh_boy  
> Tumblr: peachh-boy
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated :>


End file.
